tagalog jokes

 Pangarap sa buhay


teacher; daniel anung pangarap mo sa buhay mo??
daniel; maging doktor po makatulong sa kapwa po,,,,,
teacher; good,,,,,ikaw juan??
juan; maging nurse po para matulungan ang kapwa poh
teacher; ikaw pedro???
pedro; uhmmmmm,,,,,maging kapwa po para tutulungan nila aku,, hahahhahahaha
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 Teacher : Juan panu mu nagawa na ma perfect ang exam mo ha ??
 Juan : biLib kna nman skin ma'am?? Mata ko pa lng gnamit ko jan ha ? panu pa kaya kng pati Utak ko na ..

hahaha .. kapal ng mukha ni Juan .. :D
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 Man #1 : O pare bat may Tali yang Paa mo?
Man#2: Eh gusto ko kasing mag bigti eh.
Man#1: E bakit sa paa diba sa Leeg yan nilalagay?
 Man #2: Oo nga pare e sinubukan ko na yan kanina eh ………
hindi ako maka hinga pare eh…
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 Teacher: ok class use HEY in a sentence. Yes bulak! 
bulak: HEY! That's my bag! Teacher: very goOd! You buyog! 
buyog: our teacher is very cute. Baby face for short...she's really beautiful!
 Teacher: hehe, thank u esyot...but asa man ang HEY?

buyog: HEY HEY HEY, JOKE lang po MAM. Ginanahan naman kayo. bwahahahaha
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 Lata ni Lola:

Lola: Ineng palimos naman..
Girl: Lola bakit po dalawa lata nyo?
Lola: Ineng, as a business woman we shud tink on more ways on how to develop our business. That’s why instead of associating the money I got for my daily expenditures, I invested it by putting up another branch.

Haha grabe si Lola! ...
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 Juan: Pedro, bakit ang pandak mo?
Pedro: Kasi bata palang ako, ulila na ako.
Juan: Eh ano naman relasyon non sa pagiging pandak mo?
Pedro: Walang nagpalaki sa akin.
 
Ay oo nga ano!
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Habang tumatae si Mister

Misis: isara mo naman yung pinto pag tumatae ka. Nakkita kaya titi mo.
Mister: Bakit ba? Si naman kadalasan d nagrereklamo ah.....
Misis: wag naman dito sa Jollibee..
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 isang probensyano ang pumunta sa manila, at nag rent sa hotel;
probinsyano: alam kong probinsyano lang ako pero wog nyo kong lokohin ang mahal ng binayad ko dito tapos ganito lang?, walang kama, bintana, at ang liit ng kwarto. ano ba to?  
roomboi: sir nasa elevator pa lang po tayo wag ka ngang exited.
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 teacher: class what is ethics?
juan: sir ethics are those cousins of ducks! what can you say sir?
teacher: very nice answer! that duck will lay an egg and that egg will be your grade!!!
hahahahaha
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 may dalawang magshotang naglalakad sa park...
boy: bhe, may itatanong ako sayo...
gurl:ano yun?
boy:ano ang saging na mataba?
girl:edi saba
boy: aba ang galing...
boy:ano naman ang saging na may balat, isinusubo at nagsisimula sa letter "T"
gurl: yuck! ang bastos mo!
boy:sus di mo masabi ung sagot mo at tsaka hindi nman bastos yun
girl:ano ba ung sagot?
boy: edi TURON!!!!!!
haaahahahahhahaha
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LASING1:HIK!BALITA KO,PARE,NAKIPAGBREAK KA SA SYOTA MONG TEACHER,HIK.
* LASING2:OO PARE.HIK!
* LASING1:BAKIT NAMAN?
* LASING2:HINDI KO LNG NADALAW NG ISANG BESES EH,HINIHINGAN KAAGAD AKO NG EXCUSE LETTER AT KAILANGAN DAW PIRMADO NG NANAY KO.HIK!
* LASING1:NGEEKKKK!!!!!

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Kalahati ng 1000

Alex:Itay,pag meron na ba akong pera mayaman napo ba ako?
Tatay:Kung ang pera mo ay libo mayaman ka na,kapag hundred hindi pa.Bakit mo nga ba naitanong?
Alex:Ibebenta ko po itong baboy ko.
Tatay:Ipagbili mo yan ng isang libo.
(agad pumunta si alex sa palengke para magbenta) 

Namimili:Magkano ang baboy m...o?
Alex:isang libo po.
Namimili:Pwede bang 900 nlng?
Alex:Hindi po.Kasi sabi ng tatay ko pag hundreds di pa po ako yayaman.Dapat daw po libo.  
Namimili:Ah Ganon! O sige kalahating libo.
Alex:Okey Payag nako XD WAHAHHA
 A man went to a pharmacy to buy condom.

Sales lady: One thousand per piece, sir!
Man: What? Ba’t ang mahal?
Saleslady: Kasi puwede nating i-try…
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 discretion:

Sabi nila cute daw ang mahilig magmura! Aba pucha sinong nagsabi nun? Sira-ulo ang hayop! Di ba nila alam na kasalanan ang magmura? Shit! Kahit kelan di ako maniniwala! Tangina!
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 Friend gusto mo ba malaman kung gaano ka kahalaga sakin?

“Di ako sasagot. Hahawakan ko ang kamay mo at ilulublob ko sa kumukulong tubig at sasabihin, “Masakit, di ba? Ganyan pag nawala ka..”
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Nanay: Bakit iyak ng iyak ang kapatid mo? Hindi mo ba binigyan ng pagkain?
Anak: Abah, ewan ko sa kanya, binigyan ko nga sya ng hinog na pagkain.
Nanay: Bakit ano ba ang binigay mo?
Anak: Sili po... yung Labuyo!
tagalog jokes, pinoy jokes, pinoy,
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Bata:Â Nanay ano ang paboritong lugar ng mga bading?
Nanay: Baclaran ba anak?
Bata: Hindi NayNanay: Eh… Ano?
Bata: Nay, Sesame Street
Nanay: Bat naman?
Bata: Dahil nandoon si Big Bird
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Teacher: Miguel spell horse!
Miguel: H....O....
Teacher: Bilisan mo
Miguel: H....O....R...
Teacher: Sabing bilisan mo
Miguel: Ya! Tigidig!!!Tigidig!!! Tigidig..
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Husband: Hon, musta na ang tindahan?
Wife: department store na!
Husband: ang tuba-an?
Wife: KTV bar na!Husband: ang trickad?
Wife: taxi na!
Husband: ang dalawa kong anak? Lima na?
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LASING1:HIK!BALITA KO,PARE,NAKIPAGBREAK KA SA SYOTA MONG TEACHER,HIK.
LASING2:OO PARE.HIK!
LASING1:BKIT NAMAN?
LASING2:HINDI KO LNG NADALAW NG ISANG BESES EH,HINIHINGAN KAAGAD AKO NG EXCUSE LETTER AT KAILANGAN DAW PIRMADO NG NANAY KO.HIK!
LASING1:NGEEKKKK!!!!!
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ANAK: mami sabi po ng kalaro ko panget daw po ako .. huhuhuhuh
MAMI: anak alam mo ba ang kagandahan ay nasa loob kea wag kang lalabas d2 k lang sa bahay ..
tagalog jokes, pinoy jokes, pinoy,
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medyo bastos....

Di impeksiyon

Babaye: Dok, naa lagiy brown nga mogawas sa akoa, morag na-infected.
Doktor: Kapila man ka makig-iyot sa usa ka semana?
Babaye: Dili semana Dok. Mga kausa ra tingali sa usa ka tuig.
Doktor: Aw, dili na impeksiyon, taya na.
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Praktis pa to ha

Pari: Ang maigo ning bola maoy labing dakog sala nato!
(Miuntol ang bola og naigo ang pari.)
Pari: Uy, praktis pa to ha!

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Di moadto og langit

Maestra: Kinsa ninyo ang gusto moadto sa langit? (Miisa sa kamot ang tanan gawas ni Pedro.)
Maestra: Pedro, di diay ka ganahan moadto sa langit?
Pedro: Pasayohon man god kog uli ni Nanay, Ma’am!

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Ilansang ang mga bayot

Hubog: Ilansang ang mga bayot!
Bayot: Managan ta!
Hubog: Utin ang gamiton!
Bayot: Mamalik ta!

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Ang bugo barog

Maestra: Palihog barog kadtong mga bugo.
(Human sa usa ka minutos, mibarog si Juan.)
Maestra: Juan, midawat diay ka nga bugo ka?
Juan: Aw, gikuyogan ta lang ka Ma’am. Ikaw ra man gong usa ang gabarog.

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Large nga kondom

Bayot: Miss, naa moy large nga kondom?
Tindera: Naa man, pilay imo?
Bayot: Aw, di ko mopalit. Maghuwat-huwat lang ko og naay mopalit.
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Ang bitin

Anak nakaabot sa ginikanan nga nag-iyot.
Anak: Ma, nganong gilingkoran man na nimo ang atubangan ni Papa?
Inahan: Naa man goy bitin Dong, akong patyon.
Anak: Mas isog si Yaya Ma, iyang gikaon ang bitin.
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FORT SANTIAGO: THE COTTA OF MISAMIS

                                                      Cotta Beach beside at Fort Santiago                      

                                                                    A Stone Marker

                                                       Entrance to the Fort Santiago

                                              NUESTRA SRA. DEL TRIUNFO DELA CRUZ / 
                                           

OUR LADY OF MT. CARMEL
The image on its wall of the Cotta  believed to be miraculously growing and has been the object of pilgrimage to the City of Ozamiz. 

FORT SANTIAGO: THE COTTA OF MISAMIS
 

            Easily the first to attract passengers of incoming vessels to the Ozamiz City Port from a distance of about more than a mile away during daytime is the Misamis, Cotta, also called earlier as the Triunfo, a stone fort built along the shores of Panguil Bay more than two centuries ago.

Historical Background:

            The Cotta or Fort, which has been used uninterruptedly as a military stronghold ever since it was built in the 1750’s until now, is situated southeast of Ozamiz City (formerly the town of Misamis), a strategically located community at the mouth of Panguil Bay. The poblacion then is the present site of the Imelda Park, a stone throw from the western corner of the Cotta. The above-mentioned Panguil Bay had been described in the mid-eighteenth century as the “never ending source of Muslim pirates”.

Noted historian Miguel Bernad, S.i., said that the Cotta was built about 225 years ago as proposed by Father iose Ducos of the Jesuit for two reasons: to repel the Moro piratical raids which were at their height in the 1 750's, and to provide shelter for the ships of the Spanish fleet during that time.

Possibly the oldest structure in the area, it stands mute witness to the many events that took place in Ozamiz City. It was subjected to deafening sounds on at least two different occasions: first, possibly for a good number of times, from cannons and fusillades of soldiers under the service of the Spanish crown fighting against Muslim raiders, and second, from the numerous bombs on the eye of the last day of the Japanese occupation of Ozamiz City, December 10, 1945.

       From the point of view of the planned military occupation of the Philippines by the British before their conquest in the 1750’s, the Misamis Cotta was so important that it was marked as one of the three that must be captured to ensure contact with the Muslims, who were to be used in the fight against the Spanish government. The other two forts included were those of the Zamboanga and Basilan.

            From the earlier historical records, it is known that before the construction of the Misamis Cotta, there were already in existence several forts in Mindanao. Among these were that of (1) Zamboanga, called Nuestra Señora del Pilar de Zaragoza; (2) Dapitan, located in a stony hill overlooking the sea; (3) Iligan, called San Francisco Xavier, made of squared stones, star-shaped and smaller in size that of Ozamiz, (4) Cagayan de Oro, called San Jose, triangular in shape, built on the beach and dominating the surrounding bay; and (5) Cateel, built of wooden planks with nipa roofing. The maintenance and support of the soldiers assigned to these forts, their supply of arms and ammunitions were quite a big drain on the Spanish Royal Treasury at the time.

THE CONSTRUCTION

There may be no possible data now available about such details as when the first cornerstone must have been laid, the length of time of the actual construction, the names of the con­struction engineers, and the number of workers who did this extraordinary engineering feat. 'It may be surmised that either forced or voluntary group labor, termed pahina in Cebu-Visayan dialect, must have been used then. 

What a casual present day observer may easily notice is the kind of material used which by present standard of construction materials would be considered flimsy. These materi­als are rectangular blocks of sedimentary rocks, a mixture of coral and sandstone joined together by lime. While these types of stones were abundant along the western shores of Panguil Bay in the early days, a reliable source had it that those used for this particu­lar Cotta were more durable and were said to have been trans­ported by bancas from the neighboring island of Siquijor during the northern monsoon when traveling would be fast and easy. Moreover, these stones have stood, ravaged by time and elements, for more than two hundred years.

These rectangular blocks of stones are varied in sizes, with an average dimension of 30 cm. Long, 25 cm. Wide and 20 cm. in height, the top stones being slightly smaller than the base for piling purposes. Considering the absence of mechanical equipment during that time, it must have taken thousands of person-hours to do the trimming to get the desired sizes and shape before they were actually laid by the masons.

The fort must have been planned to be square in shape with bastion in each of the four coiners. The interior yard mea­sures 60.45 by 56.9 meters from wall to wall. A four meter-wide ramp extending inward 1 7 meters from the base, also made of blocked stones, leads to the eastern bastion. This must have made the movement of cannons and foot soldiers easier and faster in times of emergences.

Inside, all parts of the Cotta wall could easily be reached through a 60-centimeter-wide walk. With the 60-centimeter-thick wall rising to almost a meter and a half from the floor one could move freely inside, protected from the outside enemy fire and from weapons of eighteenth century vintage. Outside the height from the ground to the topmost part of the wall is 5.5 meters, except that of the corner of the western bastion which sank about two meters below ground level during the I 955 earthquake in Ozamiz and Lanao areas.

Each bastion differs in area very slightly from the others; with the two facing the town are 12.5 by 12.4 meters. Each of the town sides of the bastion had two-gun emplacement of differ­ent widths, one with .22 meters, the other wit. 4.65 meters. The latter must have been used for cannons for wider range of firing, while the other must have been intended for the riflemen. The thickness of the wall at the floor level is 2.4 meters, tapering to .6 of a meter at the top level. From the inside, the wall is 3.5 meters high from the ground level.

 

DAMAGE CAUSED BY THE 1955 EARTHQUAKE

In April 1955 an earthquake, which registered intensity 7 on the Richter scale, rocked Ozamiz and its environs. That quake may be considered as the most devastating natural disaster ever experienced by the city residents. While no life was lost, the Sun­day dawn quake destroyed important landmarks of the city, such as the century-old Catholic Church and part of the Cotta and cause meter-wide cracks along Rizal Avenue leading to the port road.

The damaged of the Cotta, which possibly could be per­manent and now irreparable; is in the form of crevices or cracks and holes on both the wails and bastion floors, varying from 50 centimeters to 1.2 in width or diameter. As mentioned earlier, the corner of the western bastions sank about two meter below ground level during the 1955 earthquake. The sinking must have been cause by the weakened foundation around the particular part of the bastion, near where Japanese soldiers, using the Cotta as their last refuge, had dug trenches in their last-ditch defense after b mg trapped by the guerilla forces. The sunken bastion faces the present port where the guerilla forces had also dug their trenches while on watched for the trapped Japanese soldiers. The soldier bastion on the other hand, sank less than a meter. The tilt on this bastion is not quite noticeable if one is at the top. 

There are six large crevices and two holes together, mostly found at the southwestern side of the Cotta. Actually two ether cracks were formed on the eastern bastion with its corner sunk about one foot below. These cracks however have been filled and joined with cement. The location of these cracks is indicated in the accompanying sketch by letters “a” to “h”.

 

THE COTTA TODAY

Since late nineteenth century until present the Cotta has been closely associated with the shrine of what the Misamis folks con­sider the miraculous image of the Birhen sa Cotta outside wall on the northeastern side facing the Ozamiz City port. This section was formerly a gate, which is now closed and walled in. The Birhen sa Cotta, as it is more popularly called, has been adopted as the second patroness of the city, with its feast day July 16, celebrated yearly. The inauguration of the change of Misamis to the char­tered city of Ozamiz but also from other towns and provinces come daily to the cotta to light candles at the shrine and pay homage to the Blessed Virgin.

The Cotta, which served as a watchtower for Misamis during the dark days of the 1750’s, now serves, through its lighthouse, as a guide for both mariners and fishermen entering Panguil Bay during dark nights. The lighthouse, pre-World War II addition, is located at the eastern bastion. Standing on one-meter base and tapering to a half-square-meter top, the lighthouse has a height of 0.6 meter from the Cotta floor by a winding 38-step stairway.

The fort today, to an ordinary citizen, may just be another huge of stones piled on top of one another, unimposing in appearance especially because of its irregular and unkempt condi­tion. It could easily pass for what Markham described as “stolid and stunned” and now “bowed by the weight of the centuries”.

Both the northern and northwestern sides are now blocked by makeshift homes and refreshment stands catering to the needs of devotees of the Virgin and beach users alike.

Attempts to restore the fort to its grandeur were not actu­ally lacking. One of the latest is that from a group of civic-minded citizens, led by retired Judge Geronimo Marave of Ozamiz City who helped raised the amount of P 30,000.00 last 1975 in addi­tion to the national funds set aside for its preservation. It should be known that before the 1960's, the sea encroachment towards the Cotta became alarming. The sea has eaten up the northeast­ern side exposing a good portion of its very foundation. The timely construction of the groin and breakwater saved the fort from what could have been another irreparable damage. Today the storage Cotta is the only remaining witness of Ozamiz City's rich and col­orful past.

The question that may be raised is should the Cotta be left to its present state, at the mercy of the elements and allowed to deteriorate and ultimately to crumble to the sand, or should its original grandeur be restored so that future generations may see and remember? The answer lies with the people of Ozamiz, our leaders both civic and government, local as well as national. What­ever the answer may be, some price will have to be paid. If we refuse to pay for it now in terms of funds for its restoration arid preservation, we will pay for it later in terms of a complete extinc­tion of a valuable link with the past and with our future gen­eration.

 

ACKNOWLEDGMENT NOTES

The writer wishes to acknowledge the help ex­tended to him in preparing this article to the following:

1. The 446th PC Company, through Lt. Felipe Ochate, Commanding Officer, for the permission to move freely around the Cotta premises to take notes and measurements.

2. Mrs. Ellodora L. Abella and Miss Milagros Yumol, both members of the Faculty of Natural Science, Immaculate Conception College, for their help in analyzing the materials used in the construc­tion of the Cotta and other pertinent informa­tion about its physical characteristics.

3. Mr. Fernando Daniel, Mr. Emmanuel Arano, Mr. Michael Chiong, Mr. Frank Mibulos and Mr. Ramon Bueno Daomillas, Jr. for their assistance in making notes as well in the measurement and analysis of the present physical condition of the old fort.

OUR CONTRIBUTORS

Conception C. Hernandes, M.A. Educ. (ICC) is connected with the public school as Division YCAP Coordinator and Private School Area Supervisor, Ozamiz City.

Virgilio Resma, M.A. English, (ICC.), is with the public schools but is at present on leave for scholarship grant at the Ateneo de Manila University.

Antonia Balverde, M.A. Educ. (ICC) one time Research and Evaluation Coordinator, is a Head Teacher in the Public Schools Aurora, Zamboanga del Sur.

Elpidio A. Acebedo, M.A. Educ (ICC) is a District Supervisor District 3, Division of Ozamiz City.

Ramon N. Daomilas, M.A. Educ. (George Wash­ington University, Washington D.C.), Ph.D. (University of San Carlos) is Dean of College, Immaculate Conception College.

IMMACULATE CONCEPCION CATHEDRAL CHURCH AND PIPE ORGAN

IMMACULATE CONCEPCION CATHEDRAL CHURCH
AND PIPE ORGAN
 

The Cathedral is a bastion of Catholicism in the City.  It is distinctive in itself with a unique architectural design.   It is the home of the second largest pipe organ in the Philippines.

THE PIPE ORGAN OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION CATHEDRAL

The Cathedral Organ- The 2nd largest pipe organ in the Philippines THE PIPE ORGAN OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION CATHEDRAL

A tourist attraction right at the heart of Ozamiz is the pipe organ found in the choir loft of the Immaculate Conception Cathedral. It is the only existing pipe organ in Mindanao and one among the few throughout the country.  How did the city acquire such a beautiful pipe organ? An Irish Columban priest, Father Sean Lavery, was in charge of the liturgical and musical development in the Immaculate Conception Cathedral. While training the choir and teaching the people to sing, he realized the need for an organ, not just any organ but a real organ. His dream became also the dream of the people of Ozamiz City. With the help of the people, funds were raised through donations and a musical extravaganza organized by Father Lavery and Mrs. Julia Adelaida N. Abinales raised enough money to buy the pipe organ.

Father Lavery asked the help of a German priest, Father Herman Schablitzki S.V.D., who came to Ozamiz City to get the specification needed to guide the organ builders in Germany. It took two years to build the organ. Two companies; namely, Ed­ward Wagenback of Limburg, Germany and August Laukuff Werkershein, Germany were involved in building the organ specifically for the tropics. All electrical connections were of silver while the chest and the console were of white oak. The organ has 1,936 pipes; 1,512 of which are flute pipes and 424 are reeds. The larg­est pipes and lead are only few inches long. The console has three keyboards, two of which are manuals and one pedal. It has thirty (30) stops. The organ is equipped with an electric blower and is completely noiseless.

When shipped to Ozamiz City the organ was contained in twenty-three crates. Father Schablitzki himself assisted by one carpenter and one electrician assembled the organ in six weeks. The installation of the pipe organ was completed on May 31, 1967. On this day, Father Schablitzki first played the organ dur­ing the Wednesday novena of our Lady of Perpetual Help. It was inaugurated on July 16, 1967; the feast day of Our Lady of Mount Carmel observed all over the world and the feast day of Our Lady of the Triumph of the Cross observed in Ozamiz City.

The Immaculate Conception Cathedral is an excellent home for the pipe organ. Having perfect acoustics, it deserves an organ which an expert describes as the “The largest and the finest organ in the Philippines outside Manila”.

Bukagan Hill - Ozamiz City

overview whole ozamiz

means of transportation: tricycle
one ride from ozamiz city sea port  and one ride from ozamiz city air port...

THE BELLS OF BUKAGAN HILL

A tourist in Ozamiz City should never miss seeing the tower of the four great bells at the top of Bukagan Hill. They are worth the sweat and tires feet if one attempts to go up the hill on foot or the different phobias one experiences as the vehicle goes up. Aside from the wonder of the bells one gets a bonus, the beautiful scenarios around including the panorama of Ozamiz. The bells christened by their German casters as “St. Peter”, “St. Marien”, “St. Joseph” and “St. Michael” were purchased by Bishop Patrick Cronin, D.D. for the Immaculate Conception Cathedral for 15,000 Deutschmarks. Upon their arrival, they were found to be too heavy and too large for the cathedral's belfry. All in all, they weigh seven tons. The catholic community felt that it was very expensive to construct a special belfry for them considering that a lot of fund raising effort was made for the building of the cathedral and the installing of the pipe organ. The bells remained on the spot where they were placed for years.

It was through the efforts of Ozamiz City Mayor Fernando T. Bernad that the bells were finally given a place of their own, the Bukagan Hill. Mayor Bernad approached Bishop Jesus Y. Varela and asked him to donate the bells to the city for Bukagan Hill development. After consulting the people, Bishop Varela willingly donated the bells.

Mayor Bernad did not lose time in raising funds through the help of the Jaycees and other civic organizations. He then had a road to the top of the hill and the bell tower constructed. In due time the huge bells were transported and installed.

By July 16, 1948 the inauguration of the bells atop Bukagan Hill took place. Mayor Fernando T. Bernad's guests represented various sectors of the city. Among others, the guests were Bishop Jesus y. Varela (Catholic community), Captain Unte (Islamic community) Bishop Mauricio Serena (Protestant community), Rev. Arturo Bitos (Philippine Independent Church Community), Judge Cerefino Ong (Judiciary), Engr. Ernesto Garces and Engr. Vicente Tanseco (City Engineers), Captain Parojinog (Police Force) and Dr. Roman Pereyra (donor of the reconstructed guard house).

It was through the efforts of Ozamiz City Mayor Fernando T. Bernad that the bells were finally given a place of their own, the Bukagan Hill. Mayor Bernad approached Bishop Jesus Y. Varela and asked him to donate the bells to the city for Bukagan Hill development. After consulting the people, Bishop Varela willingly donated the bells.

Mayor Bernad did not lose time in raising funds through the help of the Jaycees and other civic organizations. He then had a road to the top of the hill and the bell tower constructed. In due time the huge bells were transported and installed.

By July 16, 1948 the inauguration of the bells atop Bukagan Hill took place. Mayor Fernando T. Bernad's guests represented various sectors of the city. Among others, the guests were Bishop Jesus y. Varela (Catholic community), Captain Unte (Islamic community) Bishop Mauricio Serena (Protestant community), Rev. Arturo Bitos (Philippine Independent Church Community), Judge Cerefino Ong (Judiciary), Engr. Ernesto Garces and Engr. Vicente Tanseco (City Engineers), Captain Parojinog (Police Force) and Dr. Roman Pereyra (donor of the reconstructed guard house).

spammers - bisaya jokes

Jep: Grabe na katambok akong asawa bai uy. Gusto na siya mag diet. Nag horse backriding siya kay makatabang daw..
Poy: Ug unsa ang nahitabo?
Jep: Nakuhaan ug napulo ka kilo ang kabayo!
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Tomas: Bai paspasa nako nahuman aning puzzble ba!
Juan: Diay ba! Unsa kapaspas?
Tomas: lima ka bulan.
Juan: ha? Lima ka bulan? dugay na kaayo bai!
Tomas: Dugay ba diay..ingon diri..por 3 yers en up!
Juan: abi nako tanga nako...
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Amahan: nak kumusta imong iskwela?
Anak: Maayo man Tay. Nag test mi ganiha pahitungod sa mga manok.
Amahan: O unsa man, sayon?
Anak: chicken kaayo tay!
Amahan: aw diay..maayo..unsa imo grade?bisaya joke
Anak: itlog tay! (hay blad si tatay!)
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 Usa ka asawa, tungang gabii nikalit ug syagit.."Pagdali akong bana niabot na!"

Ang bana nibangon, nigawas sa bintana ug sa gawas natingala ug naghunahuna..."Ako man ang bana!?"

pangutana? Kinsa ang dunay sala?
 ============================================
 Helper: Padre, gi texan ko sa akong amo nga naa ron sa
Abroad nga pamisahan kunu ang ilang iro nga namatay.

Pari: Inday, tawo ra intawon ang misahan walay labot
Ang iro! Nabuang na sila?

Helper: na! Unya unsaon ta man ni rong gi padala nga
$10,000 para sa misa?

Pari: aw! Wala man ka mo ingon nga katoliko diay ning
Inyong IRO! Dad-a dire!  
 ============================================
 Apo : Lola, attend ako tipar ha.

Lola: Unsa ng tipar bah?

Apo : Tipar gud party bah, sa binali..

Lola: Puro sturya istambay! Mga PS mo tanan!

Apo : Unsa ng PS la?

Lola: Pakeng shet!
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 Lola uy bad influence! hahahahaha bad example ka Lola!


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